I have no idea why, but I feel especially antsy tonight. My body refuses to shut down so I'm just stalking family members on Facebook just to see if they're as miserable as me.
SPOILER ALERT: They're not.
I keep thinking about the Richards Klan (like I said in my previous post...possible KKK affiliation)...particularly my siblings. I no longer feel anything for Norman, the man who screwed and impregnated my mother. However, but I still feel a few strings attached to Sean and Hallie, not to mention my late brother Steven (died in a car accident due to seizure), who I visit on an irregular basis. Despite Sean calling me a crazy bitch when I openly said on Facebook Norman Richards was a horrible man who already lost two of his kids (Steven and I), I still think what if...I still wonder what would happen if he actually accepted me as a family member. I just hate being the only child when I have THREE (or who knows how many holes Norman has plugged up) siblings!
Why can't I be apart a family that accepts me?
Fuck my REAL family doesn't accept me...no wonder I'm a juggalette. I have 50,000 "fam" members who would have my back.
All because one man 24 years ago looked at me as a baby and decided, "Nope...that didn't come from MY seed."
Monday, June 10, 2013
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Cemetery Girl
As I try to sleep to possibly three good solid hours before I have to get up to go to Macy's, of course by body tells me to write. What do I want to write about? My family (Of course! Makes perfect sense!) More specifically...my newly appointed High School Freshman cousin Noah. I want to tell him, being the closest in age to him (apart from 4 year old Ava) everything I learned, but there's a catch: he's so far away and I'm a self-described recluse.
I try. God knows I try to connect to the Weitekamp side of the family because, well, what else do I got? My Mom's side literally has four people: Me, Mom, Uncle Evan and his wife Rita (and I think they're recluses too.) We are more cursed and shamed than open and loved.
And the Richards? (The following portion of this rant has been stopped due to possible assassination attempts on my life on that side of the family. Trust me...it's wise NOT to anger anyone from that family. I'm 87 percent sure that side has Klan ties and would straight up drag me into the woods and kill me.)
I hope to someday be able to openly tell my family how I wish we were closer (and hopefully that's the same day my Great Aunt Verna FINALLY admits to killing her last two or even three husbands).
However, since that will never happen, here's what I wish I could tell Noah:
1. Watch Fight Club (Okay, not really H.S. related, but still. Watch it.)
2. Don't lose you virginity with a virgin ...unless it's your girlfriend (or boyfriend). Then do it when you're either under 18 or BOTH over 18...I refuse to have my poor cousin be filed as a sexual deviant when all he was doing was being intimate with his significant other.
3. Sparknotes: Learn it. Live it. LOVE IT! (Especially with that tricky, tricky Shakespeare, which I didn't read until college, but who knows? It may severely come in handy).
4. If you insist on playing Football, please befriend the Band. They are some freakishly cool people sitting in the stands playing your damn music in the cold with stupid flumes on their head...and DESERVE some respect! (And Hot Cocoa).
5.Try at least once in the four years you're stuck in H.S. to get a teacher to go off topic for a whole class, thereby making him/her unable to assign you homework.
6. Don't assume multiple choice is better than essay questions on tests: I got a 28% on a test that was all multiple choice, but a B- on a test that was to write an essay. I bullshitted my way to that B, despite having no idea what I was talking about, but the multiple choice? Statistics screwed me on that one.
7. Pajama bottoms is your friend with insane benefits ("Oh, I'm comfy all day? How nice...")
8. Tell your favorite teacher that he/she is your favorite. I failed to do that and the only way I was able to say it was in a written statement at his funeral.
9. Wear your sunscreen. (Speaking of quoting 15 year-old songs no one knows, DON'T quote songs in your damn Yearbook! I swear to God, if I read under your picture that your quote is "YOLO" officially retire you as the cool male Weitekamp.)
10. Learn to master the art of sarcasm. For real, I have told off so many people (including one teacher and assistant principal) and they never got it! Why? Sarcasm :-)
Hopefully now my brain can sleep, if only for a few hours.
I try. God knows I try to connect to the Weitekamp side of the family because, well, what else do I got? My Mom's side literally has four people: Me, Mom, Uncle Evan and his wife Rita (and I think they're recluses too.) We are more cursed and shamed than open and loved.
And the Richards? (The following portion of this rant has been stopped due to possible assassination attempts on my life on that side of the family. Trust me...it's wise NOT to anger anyone from that family. I'm 87 percent sure that side has Klan ties and would straight up drag me into the woods and kill me.)
I hope to someday be able to openly tell my family how I wish we were closer (and hopefully that's the same day my Great Aunt Verna FINALLY admits to killing her last two or even three husbands).
However, since that will never happen, here's what I wish I could tell Noah:
1. Watch Fight Club (Okay, not really H.S. related, but still. Watch it.)
2. Don't lose you virginity with a virgin ...unless it's your girlfriend (or boyfriend). Then do it when you're either under 18 or BOTH over 18...I refuse to have my poor cousin be filed as a sexual deviant when all he was doing was being intimate with his significant other.
3. Sparknotes: Learn it. Live it. LOVE IT! (Especially with that tricky, tricky Shakespeare, which I didn't read until college, but who knows? It may severely come in handy).
4. If you insist on playing Football, please befriend the Band. They are some freakishly cool people sitting in the stands playing your damn music in the cold with stupid flumes on their head...and DESERVE some respect! (And Hot Cocoa).
5.Try at least once in the four years you're stuck in H.S. to get a teacher to go off topic for a whole class, thereby making him/her unable to assign you homework.
6. Don't assume multiple choice is better than essay questions on tests: I got a 28% on a test that was all multiple choice, but a B- on a test that was to write an essay. I bullshitted my way to that B, despite having no idea what I was talking about, but the multiple choice? Statistics screwed me on that one.
7. Pajama bottoms is your friend with insane benefits ("Oh, I'm comfy all day? How nice...")
8. Tell your favorite teacher that he/she is your favorite. I failed to do that and the only way I was able to say it was in a written statement at his funeral.
9. Wear your sunscreen. (Speaking of quoting 15 year-old songs no one knows, DON'T quote songs in your damn Yearbook! I swear to God, if I read under your picture that your quote is "YOLO" officially retire you as the cool male Weitekamp.)
10. Learn to master the art of sarcasm. For real, I have told off so many people (including one teacher and assistant principal) and they never got it! Why? Sarcasm :-)
Hopefully now my brain can sleep, if only for a few hours.
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